Time again to eat genetically modified food! Resistant to any and all pesticides you can possibly throw at it, so that all the accursed bugs, worms, caterpillars, and rodents will be wiped out if they ever even dream of taking a bite. Modified to exhibit bright, nearly fluorescent colours in the supermarket; to never rot, even if left in the blazing sun or dropped onto the flooded floor of an equatorial rainforest; to induce huge sugar spikes that, when followed by hypoglycaemic crashes, causes the consumer to require more of such fruit to feel normal, thus growing profits all around; to emit an aroma that, when inhaled, instantly alters the consumer’s brain structure to become irrevocably addicted to the fruit or the vegetable. Crammed with vitamins and minerals, to ensure a nation of optimally nourished citizens, who never get ill and therefore never make health insurance claims or ever need to use the national health service (though this micronutrient infusion will be done in secret, so that premiums and taxes can remain just as high). Employers and economists are all behind it; it’s the key to economic growth, maximum productivity, and perfect efficiency, since no one will ever miss a day of work and everyone will be able to concentrate for longer, without ever feeling tired. This is the food of the future—and the future is here! Soon they’ll be able to grow crops overnight, in desert conditions, to feed to world’s poor, thus creating new consumers, opening new markets, launching new industries, and generating new tax revenue streams. Because, after all, a new consumer is also a new tax payer, and a new company is also a new target for tax audits, government regulations, and politicians soliciting lobbyists and campaign funds. Every bite you take is a step towards a brighter, healthier, more prosperous tomorrow. Start chewing now!